“I brought the reagents you asked for, sir. Yes, they’re definitely the right ones. The ones from the third shelf, second compartment. Or was it second shelf, third compartment? Well, never mind... Oh! The liquid in the test tube changed color to red and keeps smoking something fierce. Is that good, professor? Profes... (sound of an explosion)”

“A good assistant is a treasure. He will clean the test tubes, wipe off the acid stains, feed the hungry monstrosity in the basement, oil the golem, help out in testing out the mana-guided missiles, draft up a boring article for the upcoming conference, hold the lightning rod during a thunderstorm...”

All eccentric scientists know that one should value their assistants. They leave so fast.